It's a Process...

Public Elected Official

2009-02-20T06:18:44Z

I got my certificate of election from the King County Elections office. I am an officially an elected Precinct Committee Officer. See here is the proof.

A travisty of Gnome proportion

2009-02-20T06:14:39Z

So one day when coming out of the Lake City Campus I saw a travisty. This poor gnome was sitting on the side of the street. He was so sad looking. Upon further investigation i notice small pieces of him in the parking area and near the street. Then I found his hand bound and separated from his body. It had to be such a shock to him.

I couldn't help but try to investigate the scene to see if I could determine what happened. There were cars near by but none seemed to be near the debris.

I surmised that he had been bound in a trunk and and escaped...but when falling was gravely injured.

May he rest peacefully now that he has been freed.

Blair's Christmas Tree

2009-02-20T06:00:42Z

This year I spent an evening with my friend Blair helping him set up his christmas tree. It was huge. He had all these wonderful ornaments from his childhood. Not like the ones where you know they were all bought in a store but home made filled with love ornaments. Yes there were ornaments that were bought too...but all in all it was a great time.

He also helped me move my big blue chair and a half that day from Bellevue to Ballard...I am sitting in it as I type. Thanks again for the help Blair.

Fred's Red Tree

2009-02-20T05:54:39Z

At Christmas time, some of the trees in Bellevue we decked out in red lights. Fred (my vanpool driver) said he really liked the red trees and since i walked past them everyday i took some pictures.

Here they are:

What a storm....lots of snow...

2009-02-20T05:48:34Z

This year we had a huge snow just before Christmas. I had to use chains for almost a week. I took a bunch of picture of the snow. It was about 6-8 inches deep at the time.

Here are the pictures:

My Very First Christmas Tree

2009-02-20T04:30:11Z

This year I put up my very first full size christmas tree.

I was so excited. Most of the ornaments were older than I am. I also put up some ornaments from my childhood.

Here is a picture of my tree.

Was bored while babysitting

2009-02-20T04:19:39Z

So last Friday I was babysitting and had already put Jones down to bed. I watched the new series premiere of Dollhouse. Really good by the way. So anyways...Bubba and Shelly were TIVOing Battle Star Galactica so I couldn't change the channel. I have never watched the show so I had no idea what was going on. So instead I played with Jones's cars and dinosaurs. It was a good 15 minutes of fun.

Here are some pictures from my play time:

Rock Bottom Brewery (Bellevue)

2009-02-20T04:05:28Z

Wednesday I got together with the Eastside Professional Network. Those who had replied did not come but Blair and Scott both came. We had a great time together and a good lunch. I ordered the Ravioli Diavdio (or something like that). And shared the ballpark pretzels with the guys.

Today they launched their Fire Chief Ale and in honor of that they had an old fire truck parked outside the restaurant. The Fire Engine said it was from the Hennepin Fire Dept. in Granville-Hennepin Fire Prot. Dist. I thought it was pretty cool. Here are a few pictures.

Dinner at Anita's

2009-02-20T03:43:29Z

This is a wonderful pear dish Anita created specifically for tonight's menu. It was so lovely I had to take a picture although I did not order it.

This was the crepe I had for dinner. So yummy, I would recommend Anita's to anyone looking for something different for a change.

And this delectable treat was my dessert crepe. It was a yummy lemon flavor.

This is the bottle of Pear Cider that I ordered. It was a very subtle pear flavor and very dry. It paired well with both of the crepes.

If you have a chance to check out Anita's I highly recommend it. It is on Leary just east of 8th Ave.

Potential Bathroom Leak

2009-02-09T17:58:08Z

Picture of the ceiling.

Picture of the bathroom scale.

Closer picture of the ceiling.

Ghost Town

2008-07-31T15:48:33Z

Okay so I saw a screening of Ghost Town last night. This movie will be released to Theaters on August 15th.

It was really good....it was a romantic comedy....many will compare it to Sixth Sense...although in that movie the kid was scared out of his pants most of the time.

It is a heartfelt drama about the way in which circumstances in our lives can change and mold our hearts into something more desireable.

I don't want to give too much away because it would be sad to tell you the entire plot and outcome, but I will say this...

It was a great movie!

4th of July

2008-07-07T20:46:49Z

Well, it came and went again...

I got to work with some great people this year at the WaMu Family Fourth. I volunteered with a company called OneReel. They put on some fairly large events in Seattle, WaMu Family Fourth, Bumbershoot, and they work with Theatro Zinzani.

I arrived bright and early and began helping at 9:00am...it was overcast and cool...very much like I like it...well the sun came out and I went down...not really.

I had neglected to put on sunblock so I got a mild burn on my face...not bad at all, but then the heat stroke/dehydration kicked in.

I started to feel nausiated and had a really nice headache with extreme muscle issues in my shoulders and neck...I started downing water like mad only to find that it really made me want to vomit. But I kept drinking any how...

Eventually in the evening, the headache and muscle issues began to subside...all in all it was a good day.

The fireworks were amazing....There was a huge helicopter that flew around the edge of the lake...do you know what happens to water that is displaced by large amounts of air...it flies...we got misted a little others got more then they had bargained for...but still it was really cool...

I can't wait for bumbershoot which should be coming up here in the near future...I really enjoyed volunteering with them last year and look forward to it again this year.

Allergies are scary...

2008-07-07T20:39:25Z

So last night I cooked the most wonderful food.

I made Zuchinni soup, with salt, pepper, minced garlic, onions, and chicken broth with a little milk mixed in.

For desert I had a few oreos with milk and a mochi ball (japanese ice cream).

The not so funny thing is I have had all of these things before...nothing new...well except the brand of chicken broth and the new jar of minced garlic/onions.

I don't get it...

I started to itch along my jawline and around my ears and I thought nothing of it really, but then it felt hard to breathe and swallow when i was trying to go to sleep.

So alas, at 11:30 i decided to call my manager to give him a heads up that I was heading to the ER. By the time I got to the ER I was doing better with the swallowing although I still had a scratchy throat and my jawline and ears still itched.

They checked me in and gave me some benadryl...which I now actually have a perscription for...cheaper over the counter though...and within an hour or so the itching went away.

Now I get to schedule a battery of allergy tests to be done at a later date to see if we can determine the cause. I haven't had my allergies tested in about 20 years. I guess they change when you become an adult.

Oh well...that was my fun for last night...

Nicholas Francisco MISSING

2008-02-18T17:50:12Z

Continued...

2007-12-01T01:08:41Z

and inside the submarine was my brother and tons of kids...they were playing cards and wearing the old wool army clothing....he kept looking at me like it was normal or something. The strange thing is the multiple dreams about water to me...I don't know perhaps there will be flood or something.

2 Nights ago now I had a rather disturbing dream....

I dreamt that I was in my managers office except that it had a couple of extra pieces of furniture....There was a man there....he kept trying to get me to give him access to private information....i kept locking and unlocking the drawers...all the while I was trying to fight him off...a couple of my co-workers walked by and i was pleading with them to call security but no one would...then i finally got security on the phone and said I needed help...while still fighting this person off...they said everyone was in a meeting...I told them I needed help...come to suite 810....if security can't come then call the police...I kept pleading for help but alas no one would come...i kept struggling against this person and they kept overpowering me...then I would get the upper hand only to be crushed again....finally in the end I got them on their back on a counter...I had them by the throat...i could have hurt them but I didn't....I didn't know what to do...then I woke up...again a very strange dream....can't help but wonder what is going on inside my head...so much destruction, chaos, and uncertainty....and feeling so alone in it....weird....

What is Going On...?

2007-11-30T02:06:56Z

I have been having strange dreams lately...

Over Thanksgiving break I dreamt that I was at a house...the house had very extensive grounds...I went in search of others on the grounds and ended up on a playground that was surrounded by chain-link-fences...all of a sudden there was a tidal wave roaring at us...I told all the other kids to grab the fence so they wouldn't get swept away...I then very vividly pulled the fire alarm, people started coming out of the buildings but once they saw the water they all ran back in...after the water swept over us and was gone...I found myself inside a submarine...To Be Continued...

Strange Dreams...

2007-11-15T18:45:07Z

Okay so last night I had the weirdest dream. It was very vivid and strange and so I thought I would share...oh the strange things that go on inside my head when I am asleep. Why was this dream so vivid...it was so real and yet I never left my bed.

Stacy and Mei -- I am sending this to you because you were in it. :)

So it started out with me sitting at a computer searching E-bay for what I don't know and i ran accross a seller named limmei (Mei) so I clicked on the link. A beautifully done video with cobalt blue glass displays and relics of my past pictures, toys, my old house, began playing...I though oh, Mei is selling cobalt blue glass. So I continued to watch and as the camera panned over all the things of my past it ended on a beautiful glass keroseen lamp. Mind you my mom has a metal one...but I thought why is Mei selling a family heirloom? Strange so I decided to drive to her house. She lived in a 1 story rambler within walking distance of the beach. She was outside working in the yard when I arrived. We went inside and it was kinda dark with that sunset lit look to the house. We began looking at the lamp and chatting and then she was gone.

All of a sudden my freind Stacy was there. We were running around gathering things up and seemed to be packing to go somewhere. I remember going into the bathroom several times and trying to grab stuff from the shower. We didn't talk much and her parents weren't home so we just worked...the last time I went into the bathroom to get something the house changed into a brightly lit 2-story home. I was now on the second floor. Stacy's parents were there but she was gone.

Tim and I were in one of the upstairs bedrooms grabbing a bag when we looked out the window on the back side of the house and saw swirling green water beginning to cover the ground...We ran to the front of the house to see highrise buildings of downtown seattle and a ginormous wall of green water coming straight at us. Since I had been packing my camera was there on the table. I grabbed it and began taking pictures. All of a sudden we were in a Highrise in downtow. I could see the dividers between the windows they were metal and plaster...

Suddenly there were tons of people outside the building trying to get in from the water...Many of them were riding elephants (I know strange)...I saw the people and the elephants run into the glass...I thought the glass was going to break but it held...I continued to snap a couple more pictures as the water swelled up and over the people and elephants. It looked so strange but not out of the norm.

Then next things I saw was a great wooden ship with a Whale tied to the top of it. The ship sank and landed upside down far below with the whale under the weight of the ship...then the water was gone and it was just the whale and the ship...

Now I was on a huge ship...it was a cross between a cruise ship a ferry, and some sort of a space ship...I couldn't see water any longer but I knew it was coming. I began talking with people and trying to get them to close the windows. I kept saying the water will be coming back (it never did)...So as I began closing windows I ran into all sorts of crazy people and stopped to talk with them as I closed the windows near them. There were several gaming consoles where die hard gamers were trying to determine the fate of our cruise based on the outcome of the game they were playing...

Soon I ran into some teenagers. One kept talking about a boy with fish hooks...I looked over to my left and saw this boy with fish hooks in his arm...they had fishing line attached and he was tugging at them "see it doesn't hurt"...it was then that I saw this boy who had long blonde hair protruding from all over his head...even his face...it looked like it had been applied to a baby doll head (you know how there are the spaces all over the head and you can see where each individual bunch of hair had been put it...it looked like that). So the boy would pull a string and then each of the individual hair sections would stand straight out like porcupine needles. Well he did this a few times and it was quite amuzing but then the last time he tried it didn't work. He actually began to grow fur and turned into a half human half bear creature and went running down the hall and out one of the cargo bays to where the cars were being stored out on the deck.

Some guy came up to me and told me that I need to close the cargo bay doors...I told him I couldn't...turns out that all the people who went to look for him were the guys from the production team...they were all outside and I saw the boy...I yelled at them but they couldn't hear me...I kept pointing to the boy...finally Bryan looked up...he saw me point to the boy, who by now had become a bear. He was laying down crying....they guys went and got him and brought him inside. I saw another friend of mine, April, we chatted for a couple of minutes before she went into her room with one of those cool sliding doors from so many sci-fi movies...

That is where the dream ended. I don't know that it meant anything...but it was strange none the less...

Not Good Enough...

2007-11-08T16:10:05Z

Not Good Enough...

This has been the thought echoing through my head for some time now...You're not good enough...why do I listen to it, why am I always so quick to see the good in others but not able to see the good in myself...I am consistently detrimental to my own walk...I let Satan tell me that I am not good enough and I believe him...WHY?

Yesterday I was speaking with a friend, I told her that I was running away...some of you know what that means, others may have to ask...I proceeded to say that I was horrible and wretched for running, but she stopped me...she said that I am not...and that I need to stop doing this to myself...I need to stop believing the lies of Satan...for so long I have believed his lies that I don't know truth from reality...I appreciate my friends for pointing these things out to me...the accountability and friendship in my life is far stronger than Satan can ever be...

I have recently taken steps to be the person Christ would have me be...I have surrounded myself with strong Christian friends...with whom I will rely on more here in next few coming months than they will ever know...I am seeking Grace, forgiveness, and healing in my life...something that has been a long time coming...I am finally at a breaking point, one where I can admit, I have not moved past the things that have haunted me for so long...I am hurt and broken...but not alone...for years I was alone and could not deal with the things that needed to be dealt with...but now Christ is here with me...He is holding my hand, keeping me safe, loving me more than I will ever deserve to be loved, but still here despite the things I have done to make Him have to sacrifice His life for me...Mark said it on Sunday best...He let me murder Him...so that I would not have to die...He gave up everything for me...

I am now entering into a season of life where things are not known...I am constantly unsure of myself...I am unsure of my place in this world and I am unsure of those who are around me...

But one thing that I am sure of is that Christ is here for me...He hears my cries and He answers me...true the answers may not always be what I thought they would be but He answers them none the less...

A verse that has been speaking to me recently is John 16:24 "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will recieve, and your joy will be complete." Jesus spoke these words to His disciples, if we ask in Jesus' name our joy will be complete...it is not good enough to pray, but to pray specifically asking in Jesus' name is the key.

In the name of Jesus, I ask for peace...the peace that will calm the storm in which I so often become entangled in...I pray that your will is prevelant in my life and that you make my paths clear, show me your grace and give me strength today as I go about the day...Amen.

Green Eggs and Ham!

2007-10-29T21:19:58Z

GREEN EGGS AND HAM
By Dr. Seuss

I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am!
Than Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green eggs and ham?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

Would you like them
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?

I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.

I would not,
could not,
in a car.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree!

I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not,
in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like
green eggs and ham?

I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not,
could not,
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
green eggs
and ham!

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat...

And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!

Psalm 38--Meditation

2007-10-29T20:44:47Z

Psalm 38

38:1 O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,
nor discipline me in your wrath!
2 For your arrows have sunk into me,
and your hand has come down on me.

The pain and sorrow I feel is so great...I feel as if I have been being punished for the things I have done...For years it has felt as if God was withholding his blessings from me...punishing me...

3 There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
4 For my iniquities have gone over my head;
like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

I have been sick for some time...physically, emotionally...worry has plaugued my life for so many years...I want for the worry to subside...I thought it had...I feel like there is a weight sitting on my chest making it hard for me to breathe...

5 My wounds stink and fester
because of my foolishness,
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
all the day I go about mourning.
7 For my sides are filled with burning,
and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am feeble and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

People have seen the stagnation and death in my life they have seen me tired and worn, bitter and angry...I feel weak and afraid...often let the pain overtake me...cutting off the fruit and retracing my destructive path...oh how tempting it would be to go back...

9 O Lord, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
and my nearest kin stand far off.

I often feel alone in my struggles...There are people all around me and yet they do not understand...I reach out for help but they don't see me as I sink beneath the turbulent waters...I am like a small boat tossed about in the treacherous open sea...nobody hears my cries...

12 Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek my hurt speak of ruin
and meditate treachery all day long.

The plants of the deep wrap around me and entangle me...they pull me down further into the darkness...I am drowning...

13 But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,
like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
14 I have become like a man who does not hear,
and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

I close myself off from others...walking away and leaving them to thier own demise...I don't want to feel the pain of others, my own is enough to deal with...why would I want to take on that of those around me...

15 But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
16 For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me,
who boast against me when my foot slips!”

I wait for You and You alone...I cry out to you to help me...no one else can...no one else will...save me from the deep ocean of despair...pull me out to safety...take me from the sea and place me on a firm foundation...

17 For I am ready to fall,
and my pain is ever before me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
I am sorry for my sin.
19 But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty,
and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
20 Those who render me evil for good
accuse me because I follow after good.

I am so sorry for my sins...your forgiveness covers all...grant me the strength to in turn forgive myself...grant me peace...Lord Jesus deliver me from this feeling of sorrow and shame...In your name I cry out against those who would scorn me an ridicule me for the life I have led...I aim to finish well...I aim to do good...

21 Do not forsake me, O Lord!
O my God, be not far from me!
22 Make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation!

Hold my hand and guide me...take me into your sanctuary...protect me from that which would destroy me...I cry out for your everloving embrace to strengthen and protect me...make me your vessel and fill me with your joy...

The Pain is Hard to Bear...

2007-10-29T16:15:39Z

So I have been writing and learing about forgiveness...did not realize why...just have...

A friend of mine asked me last week if it was because I was supposed to forgive someone...I said I didn't think so, but again, what do I know...9 out of 10 times there is something that God is telling me to do and I just don't see it clearly until it is right in my face...

Last week was really good, I was able to see God working in the lives of many people...but alas a cloud of sorrow began forming over my heart again...This has been coming and going for some time now and last night it hit me full force...

I had been talking with one of my friends and she said that I sounded so sad...I thought what reason would I have to be sad? So many great things are happening in my life...then it hit me as we were talking...

I'm not good enough...why would I ever be good enough...yes God has forgiven me for the things I have done but I have not truly forgiven myself...can I ever be the person God truly wants me to be...what will happen if I can't move past this...It hurts so much and I just want the pain and sorrow I feel to go away...it will destroy me if I let it...

God is putting so many wonderful opportunities in my life but I find myself wanting to run from them all...I don't want to run any longer but I can't stay where I am, I need to move forward...I need, oh heck, I don't know what I need, I never have...If I had known I probably would not be in the situation I am in right now...I wouldn't have made the choices I made...

I sit here crying out to God to take the pain away...but alas, I know that no matter how many times I ask that it will remain...it is something I need to work through and grow from, but how...I don't know...

My prayer is this...God pull me close to you, hold me, comfort me and protect me...I want to be forgiven, I want to be able to forgive myself...please help me to forgive me...and help me get through work without being a complete emotional wreck...please help me to understand your forgiveness and to embrace your joy and love...

Deep thoughts...God's Providence...

2007-10-24T20:30:05Z

God is so wonderful...He has always given me exactly what I needed in my life, when I needed it, even when I did not see it at the time......with that being said, He has also taken away things that I didn't/don't need. The question is.......What is in my life at this time that I don't need.......What is God asking me to let go of.......Am I ready to let go of that which is unhealthy.......? I know without a doubt that God is asking me to change things in my life, friendships relationships, patterns.......He has always provided and without a doubt will continue to provide for me.......by seeking Him in prayer will all things be worked out for the glory of His name......

God has been teaching me a lot about forgiveness more recently. Whether it is forgiving others, forgiving myself or asking others and God for forgiveness.

In  Ephesians 4:25-32 it says, "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.  Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.  Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

I have been pondering over this passage for the past few days....the weight of which is hard to bear at times. As a matter in fact.......I started writing this 2 days ago, I had to put it on hold because I did not know where God was going with it or what my part in this would be.......I still don't.

We read this passage last night in community group.......I knew we were coming up on chapter 4 of Ephesians but did not know that we would be starting it last night.......I really wanted to just skip to "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." But alas we were at the beginning of the chapter and not the end.

I have recently found myself talking with friends about forgiveness....I have found myself asking, What does an attitude of forgiveness look like (for that matter what does an attitude of repentance look like), what must be present for forgiveness to take place, who has the right to grant forgiveness?

I began digging for answers....and where did I turn....Matthew....for those of you who don't know Matthew he was a tax collector....not a very well liked person.....one who many would not forgive, but he was called by Jesus to be a "fisher of men".

Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Matthew 18:15-35 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.  But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.  Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.  Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them. Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.  When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.  So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’  And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.  But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’  So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’  He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.  When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.  Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’  And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.  So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

To Be Continued...

A Prayer for the Lonely and Hurting...

2007-10-17T01:25:42Z

Today has been a rather uneventful day...I spoke with several people and had for the most part what would be considered a normal work day. As the afternoon wore on though, I began to have this feeling of fear in my heart. Not that I was afraid for me but that something was just not right. I hadn't heard from one of my co-workers and was genuinely worried. I checked with one of her peers to see if anyone had heard from her today...she assured me that she had heard from her a couple times but I was still uneasy...

I began talking with my friend about how I was feeling and I am still not sure how I feel. All I know is that Prayer is the only answer. So here I sit at my computer...in the dark...crying out to God...Please help that person who is in need...Give them they Grace of your love and show them the way back to you.

Huh? Why me God?

2007-10-13T18:08:51Z

So yesterday (Friday) was an extremely interesting day at work. It was quiet and calm throughout the morning. Have you heard about the calm before the storm...? Well the storm struck full force that afternoon. I was having lunch with one of my co-workers and we got to talking about God and things going on in our lives and Mars Hill Church. It was a wonderful blessing to be able to talk with her about these things...God even opened up an opportunity to invite her to come to church with me...anyways...then the tempest blew in from the northeast...I felt immediately attacked and on gaurd...breaking the rules was mentioned...because we had been talking and time got away from us and we ended up taking extended lunches...beside the point...we are both grown adults and our schedules should not matter to the tempest...it is between us and our managers. Anyways I went and called my manager to inform him of the situation and let him know that I would be staying late that evening to make up for the extra time taken at lunch. He said it was no problem and that he trusted me to make sure that I was being forthright with my hours.

So I returned to my desk...The tempest by this time was at full force, yelling, which could be heard clearly throughout the entire office...I went to ask them to move into a conference room so that we could maintain a professional environment in the office...this was of course not a good thing to do...the tempest raged even more...you may ask what does this have to do with God...

Well that is the kicker isn't it...God gave me this job. I did not apply for the job...they found my resume online and were intrigued by my vast array of experiences over the past 12 years. The sought me out for this position. God litterally picked me up and said here you go...I have great things planned for you.

I see my job as having 3 mission fronts...my manager...my collegues...and The Tempest.

God has told me continually over the past 4 months that I am to love this woman, to show her the love of Christ, to share with her the joy she is missing in her life...

This woman is bitter, angry, selfish, inconsiderate and just a down right unhappy person...now you may think that I am being harsh...not at all...I am saying these things because I was that woman not so long ago myself...I had the possibility to become this woman...fortunately for me God intervened on my behalf...through some great friends who were willing to love me regardless of my destructive behavior...God has delivered me...and now He asks for me to be a friend to the friendless...Jesus said something along the lines of what you do for the least of these you do for me...do I do for the least of His people that which I do for Him...no...I avoid it...well it is time I stepped up to the plate...I need to love her as Christ has loved me...well, I am now recognizing more of God's will for me in this job...Prayer Please.

Hinds Feet on High Places--Introduction

2007-10-10T18:29:30Z

Saturday night I started reading the book Hinds Feet on High Places, once again for the millionth time...laugh if you will, but I have tried to read it so many times and found it either too painful or I became distracted by the greater sin in my life at the time. Either way I have never gotten very far in the book. As I began to read, I could begin to see more clearly the path I was on and where God has changed my path and started to lead me to the "High Places". I invite each of you to join me in the journey of my Christian walk as I begin to explore more of my past, present and future relationship with God.

So with that said I will be starting this series of posts entitled Hinds Feet on High Places. These posts will be in direct correlation with my read through the book by the same name and the things God is showing me.

***WARNING: These future posts will contain detail sin information from my life. Please seek God in prayer before continuing to read through this series

Hinds Feet on High Places, written by Hannah Hurnard

Summary taken from http://sabesi.wordpress.com/2007/02/28/hinds-feet-on-high-places-christian-study-guide/

MuchAfraid’s Journey – A Summary:

Part 1: Weeping May Endure for a Night (Psalm 30:5)
1. Invitation to the High Places: The chief shepherd offers Much-Afraid salvation from the Valley of Humiliation and all of her “Fearing” relatives who plague her existence. He sows the seed of divine love in her heart so that it may grow and blossom into Perfect Love.¹ He tells her to be ready at a moment’s notice to drop everything and follow Him so that he may lead her to the High Places, the Kingdom of Love.²
2. Fearing Invasion: Much-Afraid is besieged at her home by a mob of “her terrible relatives”, who blame her for estranging her family and attempt to persuade her that her husband-to-be, Craven Fear, only needs her help to change his manner and that this is her responsibility. It is during this moment of weakness and confusion that the Chief Shepherd chooses to come for her, but she is paralyzed by her fears and unable to go with him.³
3. Flight Into the Night: Later, with the help of Mrs. Valiant (her neighbor), Much-Afraid is able to overtake her cousin Gloomy and escape from her relatives. Even though she was not ready to follow the Chief Shepherd when he came for her, the Shepherd waited and did not leave without her.⁴
4. Start for the High Places: The Shepherd uses the beautiful wildflowers to teach Much-Afraid a lesson: the flowers offer up their beauty completely and willingly even though it seems that there is no one to appreciate them.⁵ He tells Much-Afraid that once she has ascended to the High Places, she will have the power to take all that she is given and travel between the High Places and the Valley of Humiliation. After teaching her these valuable lessons, he discusses with her that he will leave her with two guides who will help her ascend the mountain, but that he will never be out of her reach.⁶ At that, he leaves her with Sorrow and Suffering.
5. Encounter With Pride: The relatives Much-Afraid left in the Valley of Humiliation have allowed themselves to be consumed with bitterness that she has escaped and begun her journey with the Chief Shepherd. In their efforts to make her return, they send her cousin Pride up on the mountain to discourage her. In talking with Pride, Much-Afraid does begin to question the validity of the Shepherd’s statements to her, but when she remembers the covenant he made with her, she calls upon him and he comes to her aid.⁷
6. Detour Through the Desert: Sorrow and Suffering begin to lead Much-Afraid down instead of up, and when she calls on the Shepherd, he tells her only that she must trust his word. This is where she builds her first altar. Once she concedes to go down into the desert with him, the Shepherd shows her the process by which grain is refined: it is beaten and bruised over and over until it is fine enough to bake the best bread.⁸ In the desert, she finds a flower called Acceptance-with-Joy and decides to accept her Lord’s will and work for his purposes.⁹
7. On the Shores of Loneliness: Much-Afraid, left alone with Sorrow and Suffering on the shores of the Sea of Loneliness, rather enjoys her time in the desert until more of her relatives appear with the intention of retrieving her: Resentment, Bitterness, and Self-Pity. After recognizing that they are attempting to manipulate her, Much-Afraid begins to attack her assaulters. But even though she tries to resist them on her own, she is unable to defeat them without the Shepherd’s help.¹⁰
8. On the Old Sea Wall: Much-Afraid lays down her will on a new altar as her adversaries look on. She glories in the victory the Shepherd has in her. She finds the little flower Acceptance-with-Joy growing in herself, and sacrifices her heart on an altar. The Shepherd tells her that she must be ready for something new, and that he will soon be taking her to the High Places.
9. Great Precipice Injury: Much-Afraid, along with Sorrow and Suffering, come to a cliff blocking their path. The only way they can continue is by following the path of the deer. Much-Afriad truly believes that it is impossible for her to follow the path any longer as her cousin Craven Fear appears on the mountaintop. Sorrow and Suffering urge her to call the Shepherd, but she hesitates because she is afraid that he will send her up the cliff. She does call him in the end, and he encourages her. She lays her will, dread, and shrinking on an altar and makes the decision to ascend wherever the Shepherd would have her ascend because his desire for her life is more important to her than her own.¹¹ She must now surmount Mount Injury bound to Sorrow and Suffering, helped along the way by the Spirit of Grace and Comfort.
10. Ascent of the Precipice Injury: In a cave where the travelers are to pass the night, Much-Afraid finds the flower Bearing-the-Cost (Forgiveness) which has borne injury and not ceased to love. Much-Afraid builds another altar and dedicates herself to forgiveness. Later on their journey, Much-Afraid takes a fall that can only be healed by the Spirit of Grace and Comfort.¹²
11. In the Forests of Danger and Tribulation: Much-Afraid and her companions weather a storm and fight against Craven Fear with strength. When the storm returns, they are safely protected in a hut provided along the way.¹³
12. In the Mist: Spurred on by Resentment and Bitterness, Much-Afraid works herself into a frenzy believing that they are not ascending at all, and that they have missed the path up that they were supposed to take because of the fog surrounding them. Only when she becomes so tired of stumbling and feeling miserable that she begins to sing a song of worship does the mist lift, and the Shepherd come to her aid.¹⁴ After spending time in quiet conversation with him, she invites him even to deceive her if it be his prerogative.
13. In the Valley of Loss: Sorrow and Suffering lead Much-Afraid, again, into a valley instead of up higher, and she honestly considers abandoning the Shepherd’s path for her own. But the idea of a world without the Shepherd’s love and guidance is so terrifying and dismal that she gives herself completely to him.¹⁵ It becomes clear to her at this moment that the only thing that matters to her is faithfulness to her Lord.
14. The Place of Anointing: Much-Afraid learns that as much work as her journey has been, the last part is simply surrender, trusting the Shepherd to carry her all the way up – she rides a suspended chair all the way to the top. From the waterfalls of love she learns that the spirit of the citizens of the Kingdom of Love in the High Places lies in their desire to give.¹⁶ At the mountaintop, the Shepherd reveals himself to her as the King of the Kingdom of Love so that she will see the truth. Finally, she spends time there preparing herself for the last part of her journey, which she does not know is death.¹⁷
15. The Floods: The Shepherd commands Much-Afraid to go up to the top of the great waterfall at the top of the mountain. On the way they meet Fear, Bitterness, Resentment, Pride, and Self-Pity on their way down the mountain, fleeing a storm at the top. But Much-Afraid refuses to turn back; the Shepherd has prepared a place for them to take refuge until the storm passes. Throughout the storm she is tempted to stray yet again from the path set before her, but instead examines the stones she has collected in memory of the sacrifices she has made on her altars along the way and refuses to forsake any of them.¹⁸ After the storm, she continues to ascend to the heights.
16. Grave on the Mountains: Much-Afraid casts herself down onto an altar to sacrifice her offering. With help, she tears human love from her heart and lays her life on the altar.
Part 2: Joy Cometh in the Morning (Psalm 30:5)
1. Healing Streams/Hinds Feet: Much-Afraid awakes in the High Places with Hinds’ Feet. Called by the Shepherd, Much-Afraid realizes that she is able to leap out of the canyon she is in with her new powerful hinds’ feet. The Shepherd fulfills his covenant with Much-Afraid by giving her a new name – Grace-and-Glory – and bestowing upon her the divine love that has blossomed in her heart.¹⁹ He also transforms the common stones she collected as memory of her sacrifices into jewels from which to fashion her heavenly crown. Finally, he introduces her to her new companions, the transformed Sorrow and Suffering, now called Joy and Peace.
2. High Places/Return to the Valley: Despite the lessons Grace-and-Glroy and her companions learn in the High Places, and the trouble they took in getting there, they decide that their new responsibility is to help others reach the High Places as well.²⁰